Why I Haven’t Posted in a While

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chloe

Here are all my Christmas supplies, pulled out to make Cards. (And also a cat.) I have to clear them off the dining room table tonight, so my husband can start wrapping presents. Given that tomorrow is Christmas Eve, I have to admit defeat on making Christmas cards this year. I have hand-made unique holiday cards for our close family and friends for years. I love doing it. But not this year.

My Mom died of cancer in October. This is the concrete manifestation of my grief — I am creatively shut down. I haven’t written a word or stamped a thing since she died. I just can’t.

I hate this. I realize I should give myself a break, losing your mom is a big deal. But not making Christmas cards feels like such a defeat, such a failure. I’m really upset about it. And no one can fix this for me, either. I just have to live with it.

So that’s why I haven’t posted in a while.  Nothing to post.

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2 responses »

  1. Sending you a great big hug. I understand your grief as I lost my mom in June. It still doesn’t feel real and I still am so unsure with how to handle it. It is strange how life just keep moving on.

    • Thanks, Jennifer. My sympathy to you too. Yes, life just keeps moving on, and I guess ultimately that is good, because our Moms wouldn’t want our lives to collapse now that they”re gone. My mom said as much to me before she died.

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